Sunday, August 23, 2009

You Can Play Too

This is my game, my perspective game. Trademark pending. You have my permission to play it too.

When I want to do home upgrades and can't ...

I like to pretend that our house rests in a remote village where the villagers live in huts around us. In this land, by comparison, our house is a castle. Our green Formica counter tops are envied by the village women, our 2 x 2 shower stall is coveted by the men and the master bath is revered by all for its beautiful pink tiles.

When I'm about to lose my parenting mind...

I like to pretend that instead of 2 children we have 10. I have sent 8 of them away to boarding school or sleep-away camp (depending on the time of year I'm playing) to give myself a break. And boom, mothering suddenly becomes easier! Occasionally I'll make a comment to my son about one of his "many siblings". He seems confused but it makes the game all the more real to me. And that's the point isn't it?


When my husband drives me crazy or pisses me off....

I like to pretend that he has purchased a 3 carat anniversary diamond, cushion cut with a bezel setting (the details are what really make the game work). He has been waiting for the perfect moment to give it to me. With this in mind I am able to draw deep from within and project award-winning calmness and patience...after all, it could be in his pocket right now!

When I can't bring myself to clean the house one more freakin' day...

I like to pretend that a earthquake shook our house two days ago. Pictures fell off the walls, dishes out of the cabinets...debris everywhere. I have just about picked everything up. It was an overwhelming job, as you can imagine. The only things left to do are the dishes, laundry, bathrooms and vacuuming. Not too bad considering the adversity I have just overcome.

S.E.X.

I like to pretend that he has purchased a 3 carat anniversary diamond, cushion cut with a bezel setting.....

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